Introduction to Self-Harm
Although deliberate self-harm involves inflicting pain or injury on one’s self, it can actually be a coping mechanism to help deal with difficult feelings. Understanding the motivations behind self-harm can better inform treatment and prevention. The reasons differ from individual to individual but the following themes are some of the most common:
-If people have a problem they may feel trapped and helpless. Self-injury may help them feel more in control and distract from a sense of uncertainty. Problems can also be confusing. Self-harm brings pain, but it’s a pain that they control and a pain that they understand. It’s an immediate pain, so it takes up attention over the emotional pain. A ‘pleasure’ or sense of relief can come from replacing a pain that’s uncertain with a certain pain.
-Feelings of anger or frustration can lead to a person feeling incredibly tense. Self-harm can relieve the tension.
-Feelings of guilt or shame can be unbearable. Self-harm can be a form of punishment that relieves the pain of guilt.
-Feelings of anger or frustration can lead to a person feeling incredibly tense. Self-harm can relieve the tension.
-Shock, abuse or some form of emotional trauma can be extremely upsetting. As a defence mechanism some people may try to deaden some of their emotions or pretend things never happened. These people can sometimes suffer from feelings of “numbness” or “deadness”. Self-harm can relieve this by helping people experience feeling alive and connected
Self-harm can occur at any age but is most common in adolescence and young adulthood. Young people who are depressed or have an eating disorder are at higher risk. So are people who take illegal drugs or excessive amounts of alcohol. Older people who self-harm are at higher risk of serious injury and suicide. Self-harm is most often done without suicidal intentions but this link can sometimes exist.
Signs of Self-Harm
Self-harm can occur at any age but is most common in adolescence and young adulthood. Young people who are depressed or have an eating disorder are at higher risk. So are people who take illegal drugs or excessive amounts of alcohol. Older people who self-harm are at higher risk of serious injury and suicide. Self-harm is most often done without suicidal intentions but this link can sometimes exist. Indicators can include:
-Refusing to take off clothes for sports or refusing to wear shot sleeves in order to hide cuts or scars.
-Changes in eating habits or sudden weight change
-Addiction to exercise
-Depression or low self-esteem
-Misusing alcohol or drugs
-Picking skin
-Pulling out hair
-Burn marks
-bruises from hitting or cutting
-Self-strangulation
How to Help
It can be difficult for people to talk about their self-harm and the reasons behind it. You can help by:
-Listening to their worries and problems while taking them seriously.
-Offering sympathy and understanding
-Offering help to solve problem
-Staying calm and in control of your own feelings.
-Being clear about the risks of self-harm and ensure the that, with help, it will be possible to stop once the underlying problems have been addressed. When doing this make sure NOT to say things like “Don’t be stupid” or “It’s not very smart to hurt yourself”. It just displays a lack of understanding and can make them feel worse.
-Encouraging them to develop support links e.g., friends, family, general practitioners, teachers, etc. You may feel worried about betraying a confidence and you may need to explain that self-harm an endanger their lives. For this reason, it should never be kept completely secret.
Here are some useful contacts (Ireland):
-SAMARITANS (24 hour confidential phone line) for people feeling despair and the need to talk to someone: 1850 60 90 90. Email jo@samaritans.org
-CHILDLINE offers 24 hour support for children and young people in distress. 1800 66 66 66
-AWARE (DEPRESSION AWARE) offers a listening ear for people in distress and their families (10am – 10pm). 1890 303 302
-BODYWHYS offers support and information for people with eating disorder as well as their family and friends. 1890 200 444. Email: alex@bodywhys.ie
-HSE West Drug and Alcohol Action Services. Free and confidential services including outreach, counselling and drug and alcohol education. Clare number: 065 686 5852. North Tipperary: 067 42 220. Slainte Limerick: 061 318 633
Unless it is severe and an emergency, patience is the most important thing. It can take time for people to change their behaviour and to deal with underlying stressors. When you help others you are being a fantastic human being. Just remember, it’s important to take time to look after your own mental health as well.
Related Topic
You can find information on suicide here: https://mentaldiy.com/suicide/
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